Buhtt sex?
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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