just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
