Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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