So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Green mimosas i think yes
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize