she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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