sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize