just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
