I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize