Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I have aggressive nipples.
Randomize
