So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
