But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
