I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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