wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Randomize
