You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize