the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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