I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
