hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
