I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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