PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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