my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
