If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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