can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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