Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
