Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize