So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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