I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize