Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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