operation harelip BJ is a go
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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