he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
