fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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