I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
