he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
We are two peas in an std pod
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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