How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Randomize
