so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
