with your own penis?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
