To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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