just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
