Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
