My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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