I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
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