sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize