She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
So many bounce houses so little time
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
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