the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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