You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
