On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
