I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
