How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
