I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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