Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
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