Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
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