If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
