I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
this will be a night to untag.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
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