How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
