When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
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