alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
