where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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