Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
