my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Someone shit on the floor
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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