remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I am naked and annoyed.
Randomize
