She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
And then he peed in my hair
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