I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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