i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
