Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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