He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
